| dream monsters | ||||||
| Nov. 18th, 2009 | 08:50 pm | ||||||
|
So tired...so sick of the digital age. fell asleep so I could wake up refreshed only to wake up to a stomach ache. I had these dreams where my feelings were so intense they were manifesting creatures of my psyche. It was really scary, something in the veins of 'the brood'. I would feel scared and anxious and be home alone and then I would hear something horrid , like a tiny evil creature rustling in the other room. I woke up and realized these feelings and creatures in real life were my stomach growling.. just good 'ol hunger! |
||||||
|
Leave a comment | |||||
| 3 hoots, a holler, and a wimper | ||||||
| Nov. 2nd, 2009 | 10:24 pm | ||||||
|
My new job turns out to be right up my alley. My office is very chill. My boss, Katie, can come across as a silent bitch sometimes, and she reacts very slowly to situations and questions which would have made my blood boil a few years ago, but now i understand, people are just weird...and everyone is different. She actually is very nice, just very well-mannered and very christian which really doesn't mean anything, but makes me think she might be more "forgiving". thank god. haha The other graphic designer is nice, and even though we're not the ideal match personality-wise, she is very helpful when I have questions or need advice on design stuff. The office is completely dead when I come in at 8:30 except for my office where Katie and Kristine are working silently on their Macs. There's no pressure to "get it on the drama" or "conversation" like there was at Ai. Everyone is in their own world working...which is what i like to do as well. The lighting is very dark and we have mini "mood lighting" lamps on our desks. I notice less headaches and stress levels at this job. Less running around and forced mingling. Although I still want to make friends, but everyone is married and wrapped in their own lives, as am I. I met with a therapist last week about my social anxiety and I have another session on Wednesday. I really don't know what to talk about, I think my troubles are unfortunately quite normal. |
||||||
|
1 comment - Leave a comment | |||||
| I am an e-marketing and web design specialist? | ||||||
| Oct. 16th, 2009 | 12:34 am | ||||||
| yeah... I don't know the first thing about e-marketing and I suck at web design haha. How I landed this position... only the tootsie bird owl knows. My first day was a bust... I was so nervous I had explosive diarrhea, an intense case of the shakes and vomit lingering in my esophagus...for 4 hours. The other graphic designer barely spoke a word to me, which made me even more anxious. And no one took a lunch break or a smoke break! So tomorrow I start at 8:30am! I guess the earlier the better which means the sooner I get out! I hope I fall into place and learn my trade fast! I wish I could just sit at home and do freelance work, but unfortunately I only have one client right now. But he does give me free cigarettes...man why can't Eddie just be my sugar daddy and then I don't have to worry about being a money-maker. I don't want to be part of society, I just want to fly under the radar and scrape by without having to be trapped in an office with people I have nothing in common with...ughhhh!!!!!! one day it'll be ok...i hope. | ||||||
|
Leave a comment | |||||
| poopsicle | ||||||
| Jul. 10th, 2009 | 06:28 pm | ||||||
|
It's friday, I took my first sick day of the new fiscal year yesterday. So today was mega catch-up day. And lucky me it was Orientation, where Krista hands me a 4 page packet of times and room numbers I have to intrude on to take the same pictures every quarter.. A crowd of unamused students and one of my various co-workers giving a pep talk. I also had my brains melted by finding the process black in a sea of pantone blacks. It's like a blind Kid finding wheres waldo on every page in a 250 page book. Exactly. oh and SPORTY spice was the PG way of saying LESBIAN spice. |
||||||
|
Leave a comment | |||||
| where the down girls go | ||||||
| Jun. 7th, 2009 | 12:10 am | ||||||
| ally and i are going to be merch girls for WARRANT on the 4th of JULY!! and lita ford will be playing. fuckin sick! I wanna just party down and have a good time.. summer time. I want to go out more this summer and make more memories. tonight i sat on the fucking internet and looked at pictures of other people's memories.. lame as hell. I need to get out there and hang with people.. im cooped up too much writing music.. thinking one day it will pay off, and maybe it will. but jesus! im a hermit. | ||||||
|
Leave a comment | |||||
| The Jewel of the Niles | ||||||
| Apr. 21st, 2009 | 08:18 pm | ||||||
| This weekend was like watching Big Fish, Fried Green Tomatoes, The Little Mermaid, Waynes World and The Breakfast Club all at the same time. It was filled with worlds of the past, present and the future. I guess that's the effect that Weddings have on me. At the time it was a barefoot blast with Love Shack blaring in the background, polish dancers, and faces from the cafeteria that have formed new grooves. Mouths that have replaced flamin' hot cheetos with lobster bisque. And feet that have long since ditched chuck taylor's for Liz Claiborne's. Eyes that look far beyond the horizon, and ears that listen to a whole new tune. And I am one of them. We've all grown up but we haven't grown apart, and I think that's beautiful. I can still throw D into a laughing fit and she can still pull me out of a slump with barely any effort. Cassidy, her husband, is so lucky to have found a girl like her. I always wished I could be more like D. It was a magical moment to see my best friend, my smoking accomplice, my band mate, my midnight coffee cruiser, my partner in crime, walk down the aisle. I nearly lost it, but the trumpet intro to the bridal number threw me into a giggle fit. It really painted an accurate picture of what the day was about. Not to be taken so seriously that it brings tears to one's eyes, but to be looked at as a grin from ear to ear. A beginning. Not an end. D will be back living down the street from me in a few blinks of an eye.. Since now a days time flies. I don't have time to walk around listening to my walkman, not much time to think about what mistakes I've made. When you grow up there's only time to look into the future. No time to sit in my living room and drink a glass of chocolate milk and play jeopardy naked at 3am. I live with Eddie now, and I have to make sure the time we spend together is top notch. I find it increasingly hard to write about my life now. It's just that I'm so over what has happened during the day, I'm more so looking forward to new things than I am excited to document what's already occurred. | ||||||
|
Leave a comment | |||||
| asshole freelance guy | ||||||
| Apr. 13th, 2009 | 11:52 am | ||||||
|
||||||
|
Leave a comment | |||||
| whats the point? line and plane... | ||||||
| Apr. 2nd, 2009 | 10:23 pm | ||||||
|
I can never do anything right. I have a lot going on right now, and yeah I'm busy. Half of the business is pleasure and the other half is just plain excruciating and now my relationship with eddie is on the line... all because a. i work b. i workout for one hour once a week, i should be going more but there's no time c. this freelance project is really getting in the way and is starting to become a nuisance. d. eddie makes it seem like every show i play is a joke...what's the point of playing at all?? i hate when he makes me ask that question to myself. everyone must think my bands are just a hobby...just a passer of the time.. but i want more and i deserve more. i've worked so hard for so many years dammit. Maybe it truly is the time to breakup... because we dont really have that much in common anymore. I hate endings but Im so busy, would it even matter?? Of course I love him to death. but we have this social thing... where he dont like my friends he barely hangs out with his friends... he's pompous always talking shit. we barely ever have heart to heart conversations which is what a tortured soul like mine kind of needs.. i want to party more he wants to watch tv.. im so used to going out with out him that it becomes impossible to go out with him now. He blames me for being busy all the time yet he works late nights too.. especially weekends..and then i have this thing weighing on my shoulders where anywhere i go i feel like i should be somewhere else. it sucks. but i dont know what to do.. an now he's out with Razz, ugh. great night off for me. |
||||||
|
Leave a comment | |||||
| work didn't suck today because... | ||||||
| Mar. 25th, 2009 | 05:08 pm | ||||||
|
||||||
|
Leave a comment | |||||
| Crotchky's Deli | ||||||
| Mar. 12th, 2009 | 12:06 pm | ||||||
|
||||||
|
Leave a comment | |||||
![[mood icon]](http://piktures.deadjournal.com/mood/charitycam/lil-monkeys-animated/happy.gif){kind=small}
amused| the fat of the land | ||||||
| Feb. 13th, 2009 | 10:52 am | ||||||
|
I feel so revolting as of late. It has partly to do with my roots growing in like 4 inches, and my new horrible haircut that I no longer can maintain. I'm NEVER cutting my hair short again.. it just makes me look fat, AND IT ALWAYS FLAT..but i dont want to spray it cauz then I'll feel like im in high school again. I'm surrounded by such good looking people, like susan really came into her own.. she looks bangin good now. That's just proof that a haircut can really make or break you. So right now I think im going to take care of 1200 dollar ipass dilemma. im also now getting any thinner and its been one month with the trainer. I just dont have time to come in on my own. Im such a waste. |
||||||
|
Leave a comment | |||||
| Why cant you fuckers just give me what I ask for? | ||||||
| Jan. 31st, 2009 | 10:32 am | ||||||
|
So I took my routinely trip to the double D (dunkin donuts) for my morning coffee. I actually skipped the first dd, because I feel like the window bitch is unfriendly, but in response to me being cranky. Its just a lose-lose situation. Anyways I go to the more welcoming of my crank-antics dd where the window guy hangs his crossed arms out on the ledge and smirks at me proudly, as if he has altered the coffee in someway to make it better to display his affection towards me or my purchase, i cant really tell the difference anymore. So I come to this dd and he gives my ass a large coffee. I start to stammer that I wanted a medium..but after scanning the receipt I see I have actually only paid for a medium coffee. I'm assuming he gave me the bigger one to be nice thinking I would be overjoyed. But I wasnt. i ORDER A MEDIUM COFFEE FOR A REASON... and when i order something, i demand it to be a certain way (like Burger King's "have it your way" slogan). I dont get small coffees even though thats the perfect amount for me because the lids are flimsy and the majority of my small coffee ends up racing down my seatbelt in mini driplet rivers. I have also mastered the perfect sugar/cream ratio in the small coffee. I have not yet mastered the large coffee cream/sug sitch. and also a large cofee stays hotter longer so I cant enjoy it with my morning cigarette. I ended up pouring the large coffee into an old medium dd coffee cup I had lying around in my car's empty dd cup graveyard. Which wasted 2 minutes of my precious "sit around in my work's parking lot smoking and listening to The Toadies" time. A similar thing happened when we went to the Judas Priest concert with lawn tickets carrying in our blankets and they made us check in the blankets because the lawn section was closed due to the unsold tickets and they had upgraded us to arena seats.. but wtf! we didnt get what we had asked for or paid for. even though we wanted the "20 dollars cheaper" treatment. |
||||||
|
1 comment - Leave a comment | |||||
| i need batteries | ||||||
| Jan. 25th, 2009 | 12:15 am | ||||||
i ate two tuna steaks and guacamole alex came over for like 10 minutes and we shot the shit i went to jam by myself for 2 hours and when i called everyone they were already wasted so i came home and took down my xmas decorations and clean sweeped my entire house complete with laundry, half assed vaccuming, dishes, organization of junk drawers and even cat butt box and made the bed.. folded some shit marked ziplock bags and put things in them. wow. now magster is picking me up and im jamming round 2. im trying out for americas next top graphic designer and i need to make the show so i can run around naked in atlanta. im secretly in love with yvonne and my trainer. i barely see eddie but i had sex this morning so all is good. with eddie.. dont worry im not cheating. i love the toadies. the end. |
||||||
|
Leave a comment | |||||
| 2 fresh pieces of shit | ||||||
| Jan. 23rd, 2009 | 02:59 pm | ||||||
 
|
||||||
|
Leave a comment | |||||
| lets jump the gun here | ||||||
| Jan. 20th, 2009 | 05:19 pm | ||||||
|
||||||
|
Leave a comment | |||||
| Party monster | ||||||
| Jan. 20th, 2009 | 05:19 pm | ||||||
|
||||||
|
Leave a comment | |||||
| pen 15 club | ||||||
| Jan. 13th, 2009 | 08:08 am | ||||||
|
i remember i was at the mad minute house as one point.. i took a shit in the washing machine turned it on then joined the crazed loons in "living room". Then I was at this gallery..which i've been to before in my dreams called Gallery X its on the South Side and it's set up like flea market filled with people's paintings and shit. I wasnt really supposed to be there. Then we went to see this weird movie about these 3 dirty guys in a band.. the movie theater's chairs were large old rotting green velvet upholstered pieces if shit. That's all I remember Then the alarm went off and Eddie turned down my surprise blowjob offering/ that suckhead. today your love/tomorrow your hate |
||||||
|
Leave a comment | |||||
| this year i plan to be less like barry manilow and more like axl | ||||||
| Jan. 6th, 2009 | 12:36 pm | ||||||
|
I finally got the massage that eddie's mom purchased for me 2 and a half years ago. It was long awaited. It felt good, but it's hard not to think anything remotely sexual while getting rubbed down with oils in a dimly lit room. the best part is when she rubs your ass. It's so unexpected but its the best feeling. I guess I'm not really touched there too often. and lucky for eddie he has a cut on his dick so he "is taking a break from any activity involving the mister mister" While I was at the spa, the desk clerk asked me if i wanted to do a hair show.. which i guess entails a free haircut and who knows what else. Conveniently I am off work on MLK day on the 19th, which was the only day Tarell was available for the cut. He said he has a few haircuts in mind.. which excites me because that means he envisioned it when he saw me at the spa..and then proceeded to ask me if I wanted to participate..as opposed to me walking in a salon and saying "glamify me!" anyways i need a "do swap". ive been rockin the 80s for way too long. here's what i did at work today, i love my job.   
|
||||||
|
Leave a comment | |||||
| your membership is officially expired | ||||||
| Dec. 27th, 2008 | 03:48 pm | ||||||
|
I've had this jasmine green tea packet in my purse for about 3 months. My boss gave it to me, she's all into that Trader Joe's shit, vegetarian lifestyle but still eats chicken kind of woman. But I love her, she rocks. I finally made the tea and I feel like the main character in Sideways where he saves the wine for 30 years and ends up drinking it out of a paper bag at a burger joint. It's so depressing, really. I just thought of that because I had waited so long, not because tea gets better with age and not because I'm depressed. I just thought it was about time. Cheers mate! So I know my new year's resolution has to be very typical. I need to lose weight. I looked at Susan's wedding pics and my back fat is oozing out the back of my dress. My hair is a whole other story. It's disgusting. FUCK this tea its scalding hot. So last night I got my free years supply of contacts.. I think they screwed up. Merry Christmas Meg! I also got a shipment of BoneTosser posters that I didn't approve the proof or pay for. Merry Christmas Meg! Christmas was good. Alex came with me to my moms and we drank wine and beer ate a shitload of food got some Avon makeup supplies and "watched" Frailty. My mom says she loves Bill Paxton.. but she's only seen Simple Plan and Frailty where he plays the exact same character. Maybe its not a character..maybe that's just him.. so maybe she just genuinly like Bill Paxton as a person. Eddie and I have been getting along pretty good. i think I've been getting along with everyone lately. Although Ally kind of ticks me off sometimes. I feel like I want to hog Dorothy all to myself when she comes into town..which is in 4 hoursl Hoorah! I'm excited for next weekend. It's New Years, me D Cass and Ally are going to spend New Years at the Bottom Lounge to see Local H. And then New Year's Day we're supposedly going skiing at Wilmot. My moma n mike want to go too just to hang out in the lodge for some reason.. D can't ski cauz of her knee. January 2nd Bone Tosser is playing in Grand Rapids and Cass and D are coming along for the ride. Then the next day is Ally's Bday Kegger. Yay! </font> |
||||||
|
Leave a comment | |||||
| im totally driving illegally | ||||||
| Nov. 20th, 2008 | 11:09 pm | ||||||
|
my headlights are out , big surprise. so im driving around with my brights on with no drivers license driving into fast food drive through exits with blood running through my alcohol stream. (and i quote tom 22. 4 years ago. Valpo Indy show at a VFW hall with nothing but checkered socks and saxophones. ska bands. ha. so i guess on sunday at our photoshoot after my 6 beers and 2 jack n cokes i started mouthing off my internals onto the kitchen table in the presence of my two favorite people in the whole world.. susie and bret. susan brought it up today.. apparently I said that we werent friends and she handled the breakup of The Groodies all wrong. Which I agree with point a and point b to a certain degree. I dont think I am friends with her in the same way I am with Alex or ally or d for that matter. but im still friendly enough. I just dont know how to describe to her the way I actually feel about her. I mentioned today that I thought she was condescending sometimes.. I feel like I can stand her more lately because of her new hair cut. I know it sounds crazy but I feel like I like her a little more. Its like starting fresh or something. Ill pretend the old evil susan with the long curly hair and tiny beer gut is now replaced with a fun loving carefree bob haired cutie pie who's got a six pack and lifts 50 pound weights on each arm with ease. Maybe she's gained confidence and realizes she doesnt have to knock me down. Good. whatever it is.. its getting better and i like that. I hate when people confront me because when it comes down to it I really just want everyone to get along and for things to be relaxed and run smoothly. so when youre pissed off soon.. which you will be because its that time... read this and go oh ok the real meg dont want no troubles.. aight bubbles? |
||||||
|
Leave a comment | |||||
|
Bigs Guns |
||
|
Entries Friends Info Archive |
||
| skip | ||
| Backward 20 |
||